No surprises here, Michelle Wie will attend Stanford next year:

“I got an e-mail on Wednesday telling me the directions to find out online, with a password and pin code,” she said. “I think they do that on purpose. They enjoy making people suffer for two days. I was counting down the days — Friday at 1 p.m. was like doomsday. I was really stressed out. I had stomach aches, and Thursday I couldn’t eat anything.”

After a final exam Friday morning, she asked to be excused from English, bringing two friends to the computer lab to punch in the code and see if she had been accepted.

“They screamed, I screamed, we were reading the letter out loud, and everyone gave us these weird looks,” she said.

AP: Wie gets accepted to Stanford

Alex Pappas as Japundit, a semi-regular read on my list, summarizes all the basic criticisms of Michelle Wie’s attempts at playing in PGA events in his post Golfing with the guys:

Michelle Wie, please stop embarrassing yourself by trying to play on the men’s tour… Ms. Wie characteristically went into denial mode and could not bring herself to admit that a golf course set up for men is simply too much for her to handle.

Pappas expectation for Michelle Wie to say that competing with men on their tour courses is “simply too much” is fairly simplistic and the phrase “denial mode” apt troll bait. American athletes who make such pronouncements are usually labeled with far worse sentiments or are announcing their retirement. It doesn’t happen and it’s not part of a winning mind set.

Basic sports psychology 101 goes like this: you may lose, but learn something from it. This works double for non-team sports where how you approach improving your game is what matters. Compartmentalizing and moving on is a very positive attribute for young athletes. The means of handling defeat gracefully is something everyone could learn from Michelle.

But the biggest question is why does Michelle even want to play with the big boys anyway? Are women’s courses so easy for her? Has she been dominating the women’s tour to the point that it is no longer a challenge for her?

Fair enough, but I think even Pappas could agree that sports is entertainment and the sponsors haven’t shown any unwillingness toward having Michelle attend their events. There’s too much money at stake. Battle of the Sexes anyone? Billie Jean won that one. Why not Michelle?

If there is anyone Pappas should question it is Daddy Wie, who has always encouraged his daughter in her aim at completing in the PGA, and semi-super agent Ross Berlin who’ll gladly take his 10 percent win, lose, or “embarrassment” as Pappas calls it.

…I hate to tell you this Michelle, but every guy out there is a professional and has been working on his game, too. And probably for a lot longer than you have.

Since Pappas goes troll at the end of his post, I’ll do similar: I could probably use Babelfish to read the .jp newspapers, but “Engrish” is a severe load on my inner English major. Japundit, where’s the Japanese national opinion I seek? I’d be interested in knowing what Pappas’s Japanese colleagues think of Michelle Wie playing the men’s game.

Sportswriter Michael Wilbon of ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption offered his short list of athletes he’d like to see on the next Dancing With The Stars:

Retired NBA star Charles Barkley
Tennis Commentator John McEnroe
NBA center Shaquille O’Neil
NFL quarterback Peyton Manning
LPGA golfer Michelle Wie
Former NFL Coach Mike Ditka

Admittedly, Dancing With The Stars is more of a post-career choice, but Wilbon’s list isn’t too bad considering it’s mix of body types and temperaments.

I couldn’t see Michelle doing this so early in her career, especially due to the time commitments. Besides, isn’t something like this more up Natalie Gulbis ally; she of the reality television show and For Horny Males (FHM) Magazine photo shoot?

And just suppose “sports agent” Ross Berlin brought this offer to the table on morning, would you consider it?

Nintendo Wii meet Michelle Wie.

Since I haven’t seen any American Michelle Wie commercials (her Nike ads have run in Asia) I can’t place odds on this rumor, but it comes from sources outside the untrustworthy interweb. Take that as you will, or Wii rather…

Michelle Wie will be Nintento’s Wii game console spokeswoman for the upcoming Christmas shopping season. Negotiations have been underway since Nintendo announced the name of their next generation gaming platform.

Facing stiff competition from Sony and Microsoft, Nintendo hopes to recapture its market share with a youthful spokesperson. While the Wii console was initially designed for all ages the company hopes that focusing on its base will increase sales this holiday season.

Furthermore, the Nintendo Wii is not ready for prime time despite its high profile in gaming and mass-market magazines such as Time, with sources citing a lack of titles beyond the scheduled holiday releases.

Wie’s agent Ross Berlin could not be reached for comment. Frankly we’re not tight, and if he hasn’t been on this from day one his ass should be caned (caned, not canned) immediately.

The Nintendo Wii’s US debut is November 19.

Michelle Wie turns 17 today, thus reminding everyone that all the best people are born in October.

Michelle Wie bashers might ask: Did Daddy Wie’s cell phone battery die out during the overseas flight, or is some lowly administrative assistant getting chewed out as this is posted?

Probably neither since sports agent Ross Berlin delivered the bad news to caddie Greg Johnston himself…

A public relations firm in New York released a statement from the family that said Johnson’s departure “comes as part of Michelle’s maturation as a golfer, part of which is learning from many different bright golf minds.”

Johnston said he had dinner Sunday night with Ross Berlin, Wie’s agent. The next morning at the gate in the Manchester airport, Berlin told him he had been fired.

“I was shocked and surprised,” Johnston said. “I was disappointed I didn’t hear from them.”

Getting whacked is so final.

The Honolulu Advertiser: Wie fires her caddie after less than a year

Michelle Wie may not win this weekend at the Weetabix Women’s British Open, but the fact remains that she is unlike any 16-year-old I’ve ever known.

Quotes from this week’s pre-game interviews reveal no false bravado seen in many professional team sport athletes, and remain within the standard fare of sports interviews: I feel good about my game; had a few bad bounces; keep playing my game; yadda yadda yadda.

Winning is the thing in pro sports, but when you’re making over $100,000-a-year losing you are better served working on your game rather than worrying about what other people think or write about you.

No teenager I’ve ever known or met didn’t worry about what other people thought about them. Okay, there was maybe one, but now she’s a regular on a long running television series. So there is something to be said about Michelle Wie’s ability to shrug off the critics.

TV coverage as follows. Note Hawaii times are freaky weird due to tape delays by local providers. Of note, Saturday’s Hawaii airtime is being pushed back by, ugh, “The X Games.” YMMV.

   Thursday 8/3    7 AM HST / 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM ET   TNT

    Friday 8/4  7 AM HST / 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM ET   TNT

    Saturday 8/5    12:30 PM HST / 1:30 PM - 3:00 PM ET ABC

    Sunday 8/6  7:30 AM HST / 1:30 PM - 3:00 PM ET  ABC

Michelle Wie’s talents are probably beyond my understanding.

My understanding of her talents are probably similar my understanding of Lance Armstrong’s body processing oxygen better than all other humans:

It’s freaky, genetic mutant science.

So I can’t offer much in the analysis of Michelle’s repeated misplays on the par-3, 17th hole, except to say that there’s some kinesthetic mind-body disconnect doing on.

I’d imagine it’s something that an athlete comes to understand and properly manage only with the continued use of their body in competition over time.

Three of her four bogies have come on par-3s at Evian.

This is probably academic, since putting together a final round matching her second day 66 will be required to win tomorrow.

Michelle Wie, Lorena Ochoa, and Karrie Webb are tied for first at nine under.

Choice quote from the tour page:

Seated with his back to the border of a flower bed, Michelle’s father watches his daughter hit in her third birdie in the game she’s only just begun. Everything she does is committed to the memory of the Hawaiian’s first coach. Hidden behind a visor and sunglasses, he is almost incognito in the middle of the crowd, but every ounce of his attention is directed to his nymphet.

Nymphet? Ah yes, I always forget, everything is sexier and more marketable in French.

As always, aspiring journalists please remember your style guide: “Hawaiian” should refer to ethnicity, not residency.

TV Coverage on The Golf Channel begins at 1pm HST / 7pm EST.

Yesterday, Michelle Wie’s group included Jeff Gove who admitted at first that he didn’t know she was playing through pain, yet…

“I saw she was hurting, but she never said anything. And she was walking real slow, which I thought was inconsiderate again because we’re trying to keep up. If we get on the clock again, that’s painful,” Gove said. “I’m trying to play golf. I’m here to win the tournament. And I never had a rhythm in two days, so that was unfortunate. We definitely had a tougher go than the rest of the guys, which isn’t fair.”

“Most of the guys out here qualify,” Gove said. “If the tournament wants to invite her, they can. But I was definitely negatively affected this week by it.”

Hey Jeff, maybe you’re just a poor, whiny ass loser who wants attention.

You missed the cut due to your poor play. Michelle didn’t take any of those strokes for you.

Life’s tough, wear a helmet.